Okay, it was bad enough that 2010 brought us the Karate Kid remake with Jaden Smith, but now Will Smith's other spawn is getting into the celebrity act. And let's just say that she sings about as well as her brother acts. "I Whip My Hair" is a nightmare of a brain-drill that's no better than what you'd hear in a junior high talent contest in Oklahoma. But her dad's famous, so Jay-Z signed her to Roc Nation.
Emo: bad. Screamo: worse. Whatever the living hell BrokenCYDE is: the absolute worst ever. The "crunkcore" trio from Albuquerque, New Mexico have been universally reviled by just about every living human being in the world, but there are still enough pre-teens who hate their parents out there to make their album debut at #86 on the Billboard Top 100.
People who shouldn't have music careers: reality show "personalities." Special negation goes to Countess Luann duLesseps, star of Bravo's atrocity The Real Housewives Of New York City. Some genius decided to put her on wax with a horrendous auto-tuned monstrosity called "Money Can't Buy You Class," which is rich coming from a nightmare of this caliber.
It's fair to say that Rebirth was one of the worst albums of 2010. Lil Wayne's pre-jail attempt to venture into rock music was a desperately bad idea, with Wayne proving that his trademark languid rhyming style really doesn't translate to dramatic rock singing. Like, at all. We could have picked just about any track off of this one, but "Paradice" might well be the worst.
Where to even start with Ke$ha? "Tik Tok" dropped at the very end of 2009, introducing the world to the horrible trashbag songstress, and 2010 just brought song after song of her atrocious auto-tuned garbage to the airwaves. Every song was bad, but "Blah Blah Blah" was probably the worst - there's barely even a melody, let alone lyrics.
Okay, I have to admit I felt a little affection for Soulja Boy earlier this year when "Bitch I Look Like Goku" dropped - the ridiculous rapper comparing himself to Dragonball Z was hilarious in the best way. Unfortunately, his year-ending single "Pretty Boy Swag" is hilarious in the worst way. Tell'Em hasn't gotten any better behind the mic since his debut with "Crank That," and he may have actually gotten worse.
Yes, that Jackyl, the horrible 90s metal band where the singer used a chainsaw on stage. I guess that gimmick doesn't work in the 2K10 because they've moved over to horrendous versions of racially inappropriate songs. "Just Like A Negro" was originally recorded by Atlanta funk band Mother's Finest in the 70s. Let's just say that this cover isn't an improvement, despite the presence of DMC vainly trying to capture the Aerosmith spark in a bottle again.
What kind of spectacular pussy do you have to be to go by "Travie?" Like, seriously, you might as well be a Cabbage Patch Kid. But the lead singer of the Gym Class Heroes (a band that sucks) proved that his music is just as pussified with this solo outing, featuring the overexposed Bruno Mars and the most sub-Beach Boys reggae riff. Seriously, lyrics this stupid have rarely been released into the atmosphere without bursting into flame.
The Black Eyed Peas are Not A Good Band. I'm sorry, they're just not. Ever since "Let's Get Retarded," they've specialized in extruding the most nondescript, odious, radio-friendly Soylent Green the music industry has to offer. 2010's entry in their hall of shame was "Imma Be," which is exactly the kind of content-free crap that made them so famous, but this time with future cars and robots. I used to like future cars and robots.
Okay, America doesn't have a monopoly on horrible music. Britain's The X Factor unleashed this horror on the Earth last year. Jedward are a pair of identical twins who captivated that bad-toothed island nation with... well, I don't know. Who knows? So they got a record contract and proceeded to put Vanilla Ice on their first single, a nightmare mashup of Queen's "Under Pressure" and Ice's "Ice Ice Baby." It's as bad as it sounds.
So hip-hop is basically dead, right? I know that us old people have been saying it for a million years but 2010 was the last shovel of dirt on the coffin. How else can you explain the existence of "Toot It And Boot It" by YG, a 19 year old MC from Compton with a massive Myspace following? I get it. You have sex with girls and you make them go home. That's cool. Could you just, I dunno, get some flow or something? You rap like Stephen Hawking skateboards.